Maturing up

13 th January 2017

A day before my 18th birthday, and I don’t feel scared to call myself an adult for some reason.

I read the first two lines of an article which stated how a girl’s mother told her not to blame the father because it was her fault. Emotionally abusing and more specifically gas lighting is a common germ infesting in all bad relationships, infecting women with different opinions of their very own self. However, my mother has never fallen prey to what I believe is no lesser than a sickness. I hold my head high because I was taught to. I never blamed myself when my stupid ex acted like all the fights were my fault and emotionally black mailed me to make me feel sorry for him. This just pushed me away from him even more. What I realised today is that I do not take bull shit from anyone. I stand up for myself and cry whenever I do feel hurt (pretty openly) but I am emotionally stable and I can handle myself with grace, or at least I strive to.

In a few months I will be leaving for college and I have never felt so empty. I’m going to be homesick for way too long. I’m not like most of the people who go to my college. I’m not so artsy that I’m idk weird. And all these kids are not my cup of tea at fucking all. But I guess I can deal with it, so it’s not such a big deal. Being a strong person makes me feel capable of handling anything. I hope I always feel this strong