On Love

A few months back, when I was dating, whenever I watched a romantic comedy I would feel that weird buzz in my heart, and i would smile. But when I saw two people crying out of love, I just never got it. Today I do. For God’s sake, I cried when two lovers met in an animated movie called Book of Life. This made me wonder, was I in love with him?

I’ll only find out if I was in love if I fall in love (maybe again) and relate that feeling to what I felt. I now definitely want to fall in love. Before, I didn’t look for love. If it’s one thing that my previous relationship has taught me, it is that I should date seriosly and not “just to see how things work out” or “show off about having a boyfriend”. Speaking of which, the nice intelligent guy who was my former prospect, is someone I have totally lost interest in rn. Mental note- LOOKS=ATTRACTION=MATTERS IN LONG RUN. Lol, fuck behaving not superficial when it comes to looks, it’s better than starting something you never really wanted to begin with. So yeah. And maybe you can’t have your cake and eat it too but I secretly want to turn either of the two hot bad guys into a good guy who will be cuddley and we will make people envy us and we will be their life goals. But for thatI need to ‘give in’ to one of them. One is clearly interested. The other is giving me signals kinda but seems in love with his gf who he’s had sex with. Yes SEX sex. Which means they’re a big deal. Which is why I now took to hating him. I guess I’m just that kind of girl. Also being single is FUCKING AWESOME OMG!!! I went to a nightclub for my bestfriends birthday and all these super cool pretentious guys found me v hot. Yay! Plus I’m getting a lot of attention and I love it.

So my plan is to initiate a ‘scene’ (hehe) with the available hottie by flirting with him and then meeting him for a movie, and then seeing how he is. If he’s still nice, and want some more, idm. If he goes back to being rude, bitch mode on plus I’ll tell everyone how bad he was at making out. Another scenario could be that he leaves me for another chick, so I can’t stop my search. And last scary scenario, he’s in a sport with my brother and my mom might find out which is scary because he plus me = dead meat then. But hopefully, he’ll be smart enough not to tell mom because she will for sure behave weirdly around him.

Plus, I’ve become some sort of party girl, which is awesome, and I met this guy in tuts long back and felt a spark. Super cute, school full of rich kids, older, captain. Check, check and check bloody mate. Plus is taller. AAAhh.  I saw him at tryst twice! Flirts time I saw him I got happy and purposely made a weird I know you face before leaving plus he came up to dance next to me. Second time, I was kinda hoping he was coming, and he crossed my table to get to the other side and we said hi to each other but he didn’t smile and idk confused me. Plus when I was looking behind me to show my friends who he was we caught each other’s gaze but then idk a few minutes later he shifted places, but then again, so did I. Coincidence or fate? idk, but he’s probably going off to university in a bit. Ugh I hope we meet again and he kisses me. But whatever. If I see him again I’m going to be convinced he’s my future husband haha. Oh my god, I’m a crazy hopeless romantic. I miss my rational logic kicking in. I guess people do change.

xoxo

hoping that Someone does Something interesting

18-5-16

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